


Nothing left to save

by Biket



Series: SemiShira Week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, Falling Out of Love, M/M, SemiShira Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27271174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biket/pseuds/Biket
Summary: It should have hurt. It should have broken Semi's heart and tore him to pieces, he should have flinched and screamed and cried and asked why.Instead, he felt nothing.
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: SemiShira Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985608
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Semishira Week 2020





	Nothing left to save

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my piece for day 4 - Late Nights/Early Mornings!  
> Kind of angsty but it's a bit rushed so idk uh

Semi didn't know what to do. 

Adulthood was weird. He was already twenty-three but still felt like he was that seventeen years old boy from high school, barely keeping up with life. He couldn't complain though, he was living the dream after all. He had a nice apartment he shared with his wonderful boyfriend and his band was becoming more and more famous. He was on good terms with his family, which hadn't always been the case when he had told them what he truly wanted to do after school and he had plenty of close friends he knew he could rely on. Overall, his life was perfect. 

These days though, something was off. 

He had no idea what it was as nothing too noticeable changed in his everyday life but somehow, everything felt upside down. It was the same sensation one had when walking into a familiar room and not recognizing it because a few pieces of furniture had been moved. All around him, Semi could recognize everything but it was still different, it still felt wrong.

He didn't talk about it to Shirabu, not yet. He didn't want to bother him with his worries, not when his boyfriend was already stressed enough with the beginning of his internship. Semi had never seen him so tired. He had always known him as a workaholic, a perfectionist who simply couldn't stop studying until late at night but now? It was worse. They didn't even see each other that much anymore. 

Semi wasn't home before two in the morning and Shirabu left to work two hours after that. 

At first, the singer had tried to make it work by staying up and making breakfast for Shirabu but it didn't last more than a week as he was way too exhausted to keep this up. Shirabu had also tried not going to sleep to see him for a bit but after two days, Semi had urged him to go to sleep since he wouldn't be able to live if his boyfriend killed someone because of lack of sleep and, by extension, because of him. It was a joke but Semi had seen how Shirabu had flinched at that. It was late when it happened and he had been too tired to pay attention to the little signs then. Maybe he should have. 

This week though, Semi didn't have any concert planned and he intended on enjoying his free time while in bed, doing absolutely nothing. He thought he would see more of Shirabu since he was home now. 

He'd thought wrong. 

As always, Shirabu left at four in the morning and wouldn't come back home until late in the afternoon. Then, he would bury himself in his textbooks and study until his stomach would make itself known. Semi was usually making dinner for them, at least when he was there so he did that this week too. 

They barely talked and it was one of the saddest scenes to see.

A meal was supposed to be a time spent talking about your day to the one you were eating with, it was a time spent gossiping about coworkers, venting about that one middle-aged woman who just wouldn't stop complaining about literally anything or simply just a time spent smiling at one another between brief glances. But this week? Nothing. 

Semi almost regretted being there. 

When did their relationship become a habit more than a home to come back to?

* * *

"Kenjirou, can we talk?" he asked one afternoon.

He knew it wasn't the right time, he knew he shouldn't bother his boyfriend - could he really still consider him like that? - when he was busy but Semi was desperate. He needed answers. He needed to know what to do, to talk to Shirabu for a bit, just to hear his voice. Maybe the med student would have all the good answers, maybe he would prove him wrong.

Semi selfishly hoped he wouldn't. 

"I'm studying."

"I know but I need to talk to you about something."

The singer is almost surprised Shirabu didn't tell him to leave him alone and go on about his day without him. Surely he heard him playing with his guitar for a bit, trying to figure out the basic notes of a new song he wanted to write. He knew Semi was supposed to be busy as well. 

"What?" Shirabu said, making his annoyance clear. 

Semi sighed. He tried to think of a way to sugarcoat his question, tried to find words that wouldn't be too harsh but he couldn't. The question was clear in his mind and there was no way he wouldn't ask it. He needed to know. 

He needed to be sure. 

"Is there something wrong? With us, I mean."

Shirabu didn’t say anything at first, another sign that Semi was right. Yes, something was wrong and they could both feel it in their hearts. They both knew it was just a game of pretending by now, had been like this for as long as they could remember, a game they both could play perfectly since they had been so good at loving one another months ago when everything was still feeling right. 

_Old habits die hard._

"I..."

"Just say it, Kenjirou,” he interrupted. 

There's pain in Shirabu's eyes. A pain that doesn't hurt that much, really it's more likely to be sadness or even annoyance. Semi didn't know anymore. It's been a while since he was able to read Shirabu like an open book, a while since he felt like he was living with a stranger. 

They had changed. They didn't fit together anymore. 

"I think I don't love you anymore."

It should have hurt. It should have broken Semi's heart and tore him to pieces, he should have flinched and screamed and cried and asked why. What did he do, what happened and what he could offer for things to get back to how they used to be? He should have asked all these questions, he should have felt the need to beg, the will to do better somehow. 

Instead, he felt nothing. 

"Yeah. Me neither."

Two words and a world is shattering. Two words and everything was now over. Every memory would now be painted by this loss, every kind word would sound fake for a while and there was no hope for anything to be fixed. Not at this point. Not when neither of them was willing to put in the effort necessary. They had their time, they had their moments. It had slipped through their fingers and maybe they could have done something to save it all but there was nothing left to save now. 

Nothing left to feel. 

Because falling in love was easy but falling out of love was even easier.


End file.
